Anyone in a military relationship knows that it is not easy. There are countless things to worry about. Long distance military relationships can be even worse. Will they stop missing you, stop caring? Will the distance end up bringing you closer? When will you be able to see each other again? The questions are endless, and the answers are never for sure.

So why do we do it to ourselves? That answer, however, is very clear. Although we are alone now it’s not forever. We know that some day soon our soldier will return to us. Whether it be from battle or from another state on leave, they will return. Until then, we do what we can to make things work.

A phone call to most people is just a phone call. To me it’s an opportunity to catch up on everything that we’re missing while apart. Technology helps to fill the void that we are forced to endure. His arms may not be here to warm me, but his laughter can do the same. I may not be able to receive a kiss or a hug in my time of need but I know I can call him and he will still make me feel just as safe.

It can be irritating. Woman see it differently than men sometimes. We take it upon ourselves to interpret that a few hours without a text message means they’re up to no good or they’re ignoring you when in all actuality they’re at work, or maybe driving, or doing another seemingly harmless act. The distance makes our minds race and think of every horrible scenario possible.

I can admit that I have gotten angry when I don’t get a reply for hours. Almost anyone hates feeling ignored. It gives you a sense of unimportance. I’ve been known to ignore him when he finally does respond or treat him unkindly. This is not the way to go. We should be taking advantage of the time we have to speak to them because at any moment that can be taken away from us. But we don’t think about that. We’re selfish and if they don’t respond, why should we? I can speak on this all I want but the next time I wait six hours for a response, I’ll still get upset.

The wait for a phone call or text message can be unbearable but once you get it, make it last. Don’t turn down any chance to talk to them. And if it really bothers you that much, say something. They might not even realize what they’re doing or that it’s hurting you. Communication is key. Use it.

So, after talking to people a bit about my relationship the inevitable questions comes up, “Why do you do it? Is it really worth it?”

The answer will remain the same. I do this because I have fallen in love with a soldier. But he’s not just a soldier. He’s a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold. He is my rock, my stability. And no matter what we go through this is and always will be more than worth it in the end.